underlying overwhelming

 I feel overwhelmed A LOT.  (Just look at my blog title- The World Overwhelms ME!)  I’ve been coming up with ways to reduce my own anxiety and overwhelm (I know, they’re not exactly the same thing), and I realized that there are two different types of help for overwhelm.  There are ways to feel calmer RIGHT NOW when overwhelm hits, and there are ways to work on reducing the severity and frequency of how overwhelms appears in my life.  This is my list of longer-term overwhelm solutions- ways to reduce the underlying overwhelming:

1. Make it a habit to plan the night before.  When I do this, I’m usually amazed at how much time I actually have.   (I do plan out my weeks, too, but I don’t plan specifics until the night before, or I end up spending all of my time re-planning because something did or did not happen the way I planned.)

2. Differentiate work time from personal development time from free time.  Decide how much to spend on each, and stick to it without guilt.

3. Try a marathon sprint.  Pick a project.  Don’t stop until it’s done.  Yes, keep your appointments & routines, but don’t start anything else until this project is completely and totally done and you can move on with your life.

4. Use ‘admin’ days to relieve the overwhelm of the to do list.  Put all the tasks on one list and set aside a day  just for completing them.  When they pop up and try to overwhelm you, just set them aside for the next admin day.

5. Pick simpler goals.  Yeah, I know, it’s important to dream big… but it’s also important to make progress and not spin your wheels.  Picking something simple and actually accomplishing it is better than picking something big and getting nowhere.

6. Planning time is as important as work time: plan out to do this, do this, do this- uber specific- make a list, get all the materials ready, make all the big decisions, then powering through the actual work will be much easier.  Differentiate decision making/ planning time vs. get it done time.

7. Counterbalance- keep projects short so that they can be counterbalanced with learning and other work.

8. Learn and practice mediation and mindfulness.  Read anything by Thich Nhat Hahn to help you get started.

9. Get some help- delegate whatever you can delegate without making a ton more work for yourself.

10. Plan for space and breathing room- stuff always takes longer than expected, and things always come up.  Leave room.

11. Put systems in place for stuff that needs to be done on a daily & weekly bases. It’s one less thing to worry about and take up brain bandwith.  

12. Keep things listed as whole projects.  Knowing all the steps isn’t necessary until it’s time to tackle that project.  Sometimes breaking things down helps with overwhelm, but sometimes it makes it worse because it becomes an endless to do list. Break down the 3-5 projects that are next on the priority list.  Leave the rest for later.

13. Keep tasks off your mind… write them all down, schedule in/ write down follow ups… and then forget about it until then.

14. Come up with systems for social media…Facebook, Instagram, email, etc… batch it all and check it all during set times only.

15. Temper your expectations for yourself.  “I should…” is a dangerous way to start a sentence.

16. Be really careful about taking on new responsibilities.  Make sure you actually WANT to do it and CAN do it- not just that you want to be in charge of it.

17. Look around your life with the mantra “less is more” in mind.  Find places where you can do or have less.

18. Consider making big changes. Are there big life changes that can be made to make your whole life less overwhelming in general?

19. Plan realistic steps to achieve a certain goal...sometimes it’s not the goal that’s overwhelming you, it’s not having a plan.

20. When overwhelm appears, stop and notice and write about it- even briefly.  Look at where the struggles are and come up with strategies to set yourself up for success.  Failing to plan is planning to fail and all.

overwhelm band aids

I feel overwhelmed A LOT.  (Just look at my blog title- The World Overwhelms ME!)  I’ve been coming up with ways to reduce my own anxiety and overwhelm (I know, they’re not exactly the same thing), and I realized that there are two different types of help for overwhelm.  There are ways to feel calmer RIGHT NOW when overwhelm hits, and there are ways to work on reducing the severity and frequency of how overwhelms appears in my life.  

Overwhelm band aids- ways to reduce overwhelm right now:

1. Focus on what IS working.  Because you’re awesome and you shouldn’t forget it. 

2. Look at the progress instead of the gap.  Looking forward at the gap between where you are and where you want to be can be really overwhelming.  Instead, look backwards to see how much progress has been made.

3. Initiate ‘survival mode’- just get through the day/ week.  Only do stuff that absolutely HAS to be done right now.  Stayin’ alive is the mantra for this one.  

4. Just pick ONE thing.  It doesn’t matter.  Just pick something and DO it. Don’t judge whether it’s the ‘best’ or ‘right’ thing to do.  Action leads to clarity.

5. Meditate… If you already know how.  If you don’t, then skip this one!

6. Take a shower.  It gives your brain time to process without having to produce.

7. Organize something- but super simple- don’t let it lead to a million more tasks

8. Just get rid of some tasks or even whole projects- What can be done quickly, right now?  What can just be ignored, at least temporarily?  What can be back-burnered?  Just delete them, I won’t tell.

9. Limit your choices… flip a coin if necessary.

10. You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step.  It’s ok not to know the big picture yet.  Trust yourself to figure it out when it’s time to figure it out.  Just write down the next, TINY little step (can be done in 30 minutes or less, no sweat)

11. Just say ‘fuck it’ and go do something fun.

12. Take a digital detox/ limit the information coming in.  Put yourself in digital time out until you settle down and are ready to rejoin the group.

13. Replace your negative mental self talk.  Try saying only nice things to yourself for 5 minutes.

14. Exercise.  You’ll feel better about yourself and give your brain a break.  And maybe you’ll get some great ideas in the process!

15. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.  Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just finish it by any means necessary.

16. Ask for help right now.  Just the act of asking can help, even if you don’t take anyone up on it.

17. Don’t multitask… try forcing yourself to focus.  If it works, great.  If not, let it go and try something else.
18. Just breathe.  Seriously. Do nothing else for a few minutes.  Just breathe. That is enough.

you are here

five ways

You Are Here
(immediately!) changed my life:

Disclaimer: Some of the links in this article are affiliate links, meaning I’ll earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you), should you click through and make any purchase from Amazon.  Read more here.

1.  mindfulness made simple with actionable advice

I knew about mindfulness and the power it can have to improve my life and happiness level.  I had some vague ideas about how to do this... mostly just by noticing and trying to focus on what’s happening in the moment.  This was not a bad strategy, but Thich Nhat Hahn has much better suggestions.  (You know, being a master teacher of mindfulness, and all.)  He gives simple mantras, memorizable and repeatable mantras.  He offers suggestions for when to practice and develop the mindfulness muscle- while washing dishes, when walking, and when listening to loved ones.  

2.     acceptance and nonviolence

I have battled my body and feelings for a long time.  I get annoyed with myself for not sitting up straight, not breathing ‘properly,’ feeling anxiety and not being able to let go of anger.  Thich Nhat Hahn takes a different view… one which immediately allowed me to relax and stop fighting with myself.  He teaches that we should simply notice and accept these things, and through noticing, accepting, and being mindful, we can naturally begin to transform the negative into positive.   He takes the view of being nonviolent with yourself first.  Notice, accept, and take care of the body and emotions, and we can gently transform them.

3.     impermanence

This one was huge for me.  It’s always been hard for me to accept the passage of time and the aging process.  (Even since I was a kid!  I was always super nostalgic.)  It’s still an emotional topic for me, but Thich Nhat Hahn gives us the analogy of being a river.  There’s an old saying that ‘you can’t step in the same river twice,’ because it’s constantly flowing, constantly changing.  And we are the same way.  We’re constantly learning and growing and evolving, like the river.  It reminded me of a question someone once asked me, “If your life were exactly the same 10 years from now, would you be happy with that?”  Without impermanence, there would be no change. 

4.     “I have arrived.”

This idea of having ‘arrived’ was probably the one with the most immediate effect on me.  I’ve always struggled with the idea that ‘when I get/ finish/ go to … I’ll be happier.’  I realized long ago that this wasn’t true, but I didn’t always have the words or the mindset to completely let it go.  Thich Nhat Hahn says that, with every step, we arrive.  We don’t walk to get somewhere, because we arrive at our destination with every step.  As a nomad, this had an even deeper impact on me.  This is why the book’s title jumped out at me from a shelf full of Thich Nhat Hahn's writing.  I tend to think of my life in big picture terms, to have ideas about where I’m going next and what I’d like to see and do.  And that’s all great, too.  But Thich Nhat Hahn reminded me to stop running because “the present moment IS the destination.”  By using the mantras and exercises he shares, I am able to see that right here and right now is where I was heading, and now I am here.

5.     peaceful, solid, & free

As soon as I read these words, I knew they fit perfectly into my vision for my life- so much so that I have made them my words for the new year.  This is how I want my mind, my body, my emotions, my skating, my travels, my whole life to feel- peaceful, solid, and free.  Thich Nhat Hahn sometimes uses ‘beautiful’ instead of peaceful, and I like that phrase as well… not ‘beautiful’ in a sense of an outward, physical beauty, but more in the sense of creating beautiful moments and seeing the simple, natural beauty in the world and people around us.  I can honestly say that, after reading You Are Here, and trying some of the exercises Thich Nhat Hahn shares, I very much feel more peaceful, solid, and free.

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I highly recommend Thich Nhat Hahn's writing for anyone looking to become more mindful and at peace in their daily life.  His advice truly helped me manage my feelings of overwhelm and feel more calm and happy in my everyday life.  He's a prolific author, and I'll definitely be reading more of his work!!